Teddy Lupin
by no.lid
Summary: Teddy Lupin loves Victoire Weasley.


When I lie alone at night, in the comfortable bed provided to me by my loving grandmother, in our too-small house with our too-thin walls, I can hear her weeping. The invisible scars carefully sewn together with her kindness split open and my eyes well up. My breathing gets shallow. When she checks in on me before shuffling to her room down the hallway, I pretend to snore. I wipe the tears away as she leaves.

* * *

Teddy Lupin plans out his life like a cartographer plans a map. He memorizes the passages in the textbooks that proclaim his parents war heroes. He takes the precise classes they took, walks in their footsteps. Teddy Lupin will be an Auror like his father never could be. He will always cry silent tears for his parents.

* * *

I sit in the library alone, pouring over books. A few other 3rd years are planning a Halloween party in the Ravenclaw tower. I don't like parties. Of course, Tory doesn't agree. She makes her feelings known like a true meddler. "I 'ate to see you 'oled up in 'ere all ze time." She speaks with a fragile truce between her French and British histories. She picked up her father's almost-cockney accent, sustained in the travels we've heard about so many times, and her mothers influence is clearly evident. She is the most interesting thing I've ever heard. Everyone thought it was ludicrous to call her Tory, but when we were small, I couldn't pronounce anything else.

* * *

Fleur balked at the nickname, crying, "Eet weel STEEK!" It turned out, she had reason to worry. I have called her nothing else since.

Tory, sitting down next to me, said, "I don't zink you really understand the point of school. It is not about"—she shuddered—"working. It's about friends, parties, and 'aving fun. There is a third year party, and I'm going. I'm not even in third year and I'm invited. You see, _'alf the lower school will be zere._ And you won't be. Zat says you are crazy and you must socialize."

"I appreciate you doing this for me, but I need to practice this charm. I just couldn't get it today, and I tried and tried…" I trailed off, and the scene flashed in my mind again. I was one of three who couldn't get it, everyone else was claiming it was easy work. It was a Cheering Charm, and for some reason, it was just beyond him.

"Come! Please."

"I'll think about it."

"I will see you zere!" I knew I wasn't going.

* * *

Teddy Lupin loves Victoire, though no one knows except himself. Years of practice make it easy for him to hide his feelings. The next few years pass in a daze. He passes tests, writes essays, and does every scrap of work and bonus credit shoved at him. As soon as he realizes he can't live without her, he tries.

* * *

Harry sent me a broom. He knows I like to ride, and truthfully I am very good at it. Better than my father, Harry says. I'm so far ahead in my schoolwork that I could join the Quidditch team. I could feel my nose shifting. Not many metamorphmagi have to concentrate to keep up a single face, but I am, unfortunately, one of those who do. No one was paying any attention to me, as usual, so I let my nose slip into a bulbous and childlike one while I thought about it. I dip my cloth into the greasy polish and rub it into my new broom. I glance around the room and catch the eye of Victoire, my childhood friend and the source of my one-sided love affair. She looks at me and breaks off from her friends. I remember she's been hanging out with a new crowd lately… Part of me knows it wouldn't work out between us, but another part of me wishes she would hug her pillow late at night and imagine it's me. Maybe if she loved me, she'd tell me all the things I've missed, avoiding her. Or maybe if she is crying over the things the other girls in Ravenclaw said, she'd want me to hold her close and dry her tears. I sigh. Suddenly, Victoire is next to me. "She loves you," she whispers.

I jump. For a second I think she means something that she doesn't mean. "What?"

"Sarah McFadden. Loves you! And she is a total dork, like you, and so cute? Right? I mean, don't you think she's cute? en you look at her, what is it you're zinking about? A big, strong 17 year old like you," she laughs. Like my age is a joke. "I bet I know what you are zinking." She smiles and giggles, but for some reason none of her gaiety is reflected in her eyes. I sigh.

"When I look at Sarah McFadden, the last thing on my mind is sex." I continue rubbing my broom down with the polish.

She stays quiet for a moment. Then she chuckles darkly. "Sex is never zee last zing on a boy's mind." I look at her. I'd heard rumors about her, and ignored them. She was only 16, and she was just… Victoire. But looking at her, I knew something was wrong.

I turned to her, raising my eyes from my broom. I hadn't looked into her eyes in forever. I got closer to her on the couch in the dark corner of the common room. I put my arm around her. "What's wrong?" I ask, and I know that she knows I care.

"Oh, nozing much," she looks up at me, putting her face very close to mine. I can smell her hair. She smells like lilacs. "You started ignoring me. Concentrating on your studies, and I'm okay with that. It 'asn't been eazy wizout you, Teddy. I miss you." She looks at my nose, which I now realize must still be round and fat. "Nice nose." She stops crying. Many things race through my mind. We've known each other too long… She missed me… Grandma thought she was uppity… Lilacs… Her dad would kill me… That accent… Her lips were three inches away. Two inches… One inch…

Teddy and Victoire went out for the remainder of the school year, but refrained from mentioning it summer holiday. They were caught, as James put it, 'snogging' in a little crevice in the train. As Teddy put it, he was holding her close and smelling her hair and saying goodbye. He was happy for once, and everyone had noticed the change. They were happy for him.

* * *

After all, Teddy Lupin is a friend. Teddy Lupin is a chameleon. Teddy Lupin is a boyfriend.


End file.
